integrating the polarity

when life is spiraling. not necessarily up or down. Just all around.

This space is for the feelers, the seekers, the ones who feel everything just a little more deeply, and are always listening for the quiet beneath the noise.

---

When the world is spinning, I pause to find my center.

I think I had to experience a moment of being uninspired, so to speak. Maybe uninspired isn’t the right word. Unease and uncertainty might be the right words.

I’ve mentioned before how life feels like a spiral. This past month I’ve been mentally preparing myself for where I am now, but man oh man, was I majorly resisting. I made the “right” choice, but it wasn’t easy for me. I felt I was going backwards and I found myself clawing and gripping onto my life out in Montana. I didn’t want to leave

image from pinterest

I love change. I thrive on it. I get bored and stagnant if things stay the same for too long. Boredom is a dangerous place for me, because I will shake shit up just to make something happen. This shaking of shit isn’t always done in the best ways. So why was I so majorly resisting?!

Texas isn’t my favorite place on Earth. I’ll be honest. & I love my life out in Montana, although I’m not too fond of the winters there. I think there was a part of me that knew I’d have to do some (more) DEEP inner work and healing by coming back out to Texas. I’ve done the inner work in lots of ways. Ayahuasca ceremony was a potent portal that blasted me open. I was ready to do that again whole heartedly before coming back out here. I’m starting to think that the mother wound in my lineage runs deeper than I thought. This pattern breaking that I’ve signed myself up for is proving itself to be the catalyst of yet another spiritual awakening. I’m here for it though. I love spiritual evolution.

Which brings me back to my point. If I’m so aware of this potent portal, why did I resist so strongly? What within me is still latching onto bitter resentments and why? Did I shove it down so deep and push it aside for too long it’s taking forever to air out? I’m aware that everything is a mirror. It’s all reflecting answers back to me…if I’m willing to face them and listen. I desire to be the positive ripple effect in my family. Here’s my chance to do just that. Return to love. Over and over again.

Something clicked into place the other day. I got on my mat for a 45 minute yoga/prayer session. My practice is my prayer. I desire to live a softer, more compassionate life. I don’t want my past wounds to harden me or make me bitter.

I’ve been working through some resentments for some time. This is my chance to lean into compassion. I say that I desire to live a life that is dedicated to something bigger than me. Well, here’s my chance. Here’s my chance to rise above my wounded self.

A return to love. A remembering to move from love. I freaking love yoga. All of these insights came pouring in as I was moving and breathing on my mat.

I chose embrace as my word for the year of 2025 - to fully welcome what comes my way, and to soften into the unfolding.

Here I am, towards the end of the year, remembering to soften, especially in the moments that make me want to put up my walls.

image from pinterest

I hope this cryptic ramble of a love note helped you meet some darker parts of yourself with a little more softness and light. (Even if it’s just a tiny sprinkle.)

Thank you for being here. <3

I share my heart here. Please feel free to share yours.

Until the next now, take care of yourself.

Deep breaths & big hugs,

Nadia 🦋

You may share your energy simply by liking, commenting, or sharing. (Tag me if you do share!) Human connection is the name of the game.

---

• I’m hosting a 7 day reiki healing offering. 9/15 - 9/21. The 7th day is the upcoming solar eclipse. Talk about some potent timing. If you’re feeling the intuitive spark to check it out, do it. :) It’s crazy affordable and super easy to take part in.

• My monthly virtual meetup will be on Monday, the 22nd. The Autumn Equinox! :) I’ll send out my zoom link & meetup time in next week’s love note!

  ---

Subscribers receive:

• weekly love notes.

• exclusive chat - a space for questions, curiosities, stories, dilemmas, and late-night pondering with myself and like-hearted humans.

Paid Subscribers receive:

• a monthly virtual meetup that’s part guided meditation/reiki energy healing, part intention setting/sharing circle near the beginning of every Zodiac season.

• A poll sent out at the end of every month to choose what charity/organization/event to donate 5% of my Substack revenue. That percentage will increase as I make more. ;) Feel free to suggest organizations to donate to as well!

Thank you for being here. ♡

To learn more about me, my offerings, or to connect on other platforms, visit here.